God, I can't stop writing. I'm overflowing over here. Happy scared thrilled excited so fucking homesick I can't breathe. Does life ever get easier? I always thought I was going to be better able to handle things when I got older, and it isn't, I'm just as childish, and everything is harder now. The injustice of everything that's happening nags at me and every day I just want to scream at the world, at the government, and sometimes at God. I rarely do that. I know I shouldn't. But it's so fucking hard. None of this is fair, and I just want to scream that to everybody, make them fix it, or fucking fix it myself, because it's NOT FAIR.
I want to give up. I'm not this tough. I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT! Why can't life see that and LEAVE ME THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL ALONE????? I just want to curl up and forget it all.
On a side note, I think I'll have to hire someone to literally drag me kicking and screaming onto the plane to come back here because I don't know if I can do it myself.