A hope...

Well, I'm trying to get my toughness back. In the event that things work out between me and Teddy, I can probably go back to normal. But in case it doesn't... I need something, because I honestly don't know what I'll do without him. Crazy man.
Yesterday morning when I woke up, something felt off. I went down the list (you know how that happens) and it felt like something about Teddy, but I wasn't sure. But I think I figured it out finally. I didn't think Teddy cared. And he does. I know he does now. I know sometime in the next month I'll probably doubt it again, but for now, I know it.
And as terrible as it will be if I lose him, at least we will somehow stay friends.
But I really hope we're more than that.

Turning it around...

Life has, of late, been kicking my ass. Things are not going well with Teddy, I've got too many clues as to what I want to do (and I can't follow all of them), money is extremely tight, and my best friend is increasingly too busy for me.
BUT. I just volunteered at the Sabbath school, I'm GOING to make it into college somehow, and my teeth are getting fixed, and I just started writing again, and I love Teddy and he loves me (he really does, and sometimes it's nice to just think about that) and I KNOW we can fix what's wrong, if only he wants to.