I'm feeling a nice sort of lonely. Although, lonely is still lonely, and those of us who feel that way often have to devise our own methods of making it nice.
It's not a terrible existence. We find our happiness in little things instead of big things - we have to. We don't often have those great big splendid things that many people have. We have so many of the little splendid things though. The ones that make you smile as you walk down the street, not because you're in love with someone who loves you, or because you just got that job, but because you're in love and it feels good, or because the person who got that job is your friend. Maybe you got a free coffee. Maybe the sun came out just as you stepped outside. Maybe they played your favorite song on the radio.
I don't know if we have more little things or if we've just trained ourselves to look at them. But I would say we're just as happy as those who have all the big things.
There are bad moments too. Moments when we realize just how alone we are, and that we have no one we can really trust to be there. Moments when we're tired and scared and we have no one to sit us down, tell us to eat some ice cream, and just chill for a few minutes. Moments when the big problems are overwhelming and the little gifts just don't seem to matter.
But all in all, it's not such a bad life.
It's even a bit beautiful.
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