Tuesday, January 31, 2012

In dedication to Mandy...

So, before I begin, I have to say something really fast here.  I just sent a review to my writing teacher (the whole honors class went to a reading by two famous authors and we then had to write a review) and he wrote back and said, "Ms. _____, you were born for the page."  So I feel pretty great.  But on to the real subject.

I know a person who has been cutting.  Sometimes she reads this blog - at least I imagine she does, because she subscribes to it.  I just wanted to say something to her without writing a comment that goes on forever.
I have been there.  Not exactly where you've been, needless to say.  Riley was my Patrick.  Miguel was my Connor.  Cutting was my... well, cutting.  Yes, I used to cut myself.  I started much younger - I was 14, and didn't even realize that there was a name for what I was doing.  I certainly didn't realize how widespread it was.  I tried pocket knives, razors, and upon occasion (when I had nothing else) hair clips.  I only did my left arm, because I needed to use one arm at least to wash dishes, and you can't exactly wear long sleeves while doing dishes.  I took to wearing a jean jacket constantly, even to bed.  When I wore short sleeves, I was always worried that someone would notice.  I started feeling sorry for myself, and then I looked up some cutting websites.  A few offered help.  Most offered companionship.  They wrote about their own cutting experiences, talking about why they still did it.  I was completely shocked to see that even people in their 20's were doing it.  There were a lot of pictures.  At that point I wasn't a bad cutter.  I didn't go very deep - there was a lot of blood involved, but never anything really bad.  Once I saw the pictures, I realized how much worse their cutting habits were, and my own got worse, mostly because I felt like I should keep up.  I was depressed most of the time, wore a lot of black (not that black is a bad thing - hey, it's stylish - but it wasn't characteristic for me at all), and didn't do much of anything but read.  One day I started cutting and just didn't stop - I started crying and just kept cutting, blood dripping all over the sink and counter and floor.  I don't know why I even stopped.  I didn't want to, that was for sure.  I'd love to say that's when I realized I had a problem.  But no, that wasn't the turning point.  I wasn't exactly given to admitting problems - even to myself.  I went on in the same depressed, pathetic state for about two years, before I finally made a bargain with God (and incidentally, I don't believe you can really do that, but it rarely stops me from trying) that if he would keep Riley safe, I would stop cutting.  I never cut again.  Now I look back and can't believe the way I was then.  No motivation, no self-respect, and no realization of how far gone I was.  I think about all those times I read about the twenty-somethings who cut and were proud of it, and I feel better than them (maybe horrible, but true) because I'm not even as old as they are, and I've grown-up more.  I remember reading somewhere that cutters need help to quit - that they can't do it by themselves.  Not true.  I never told anyone.  God helped, I think.  That's it.  I sure didn't talk to a counselor (nasty moneysuckers, in my opinion), and I didn't tell my parents.
I'm saying all of this because I don't want you to get stuck in my story.  I don't want you - or anyone - to get sucked into this and have it turn out badly.  It really is horrible, and you don't realize how horrible until you escape it.  I feel like I should say something else, but I'm pretty much worded out, and if you're anything like I was, you'll ignore this.  Just PLEASE think about it.  It really isn't worth it.

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