Analyzing myself.

So, Alex is kind of a jackass.  I'm pretty happy with Riley though.  I failed a test recently - 58% - and he still has complete faith in me that I can get in A.  (This is Calc II, BTW.)  He rarely says things like that.
I've started studying to be baptized.  Olivia is thrilled.  I always have questions - I come up with a couple new ones for each question he answers.  I haven't stumped him yet though.  I'm not sure I will.  I almost want to.  I want to know everything, but I know I can't. 
I feel like a bitch.  I can't be nice to anyone anymore, it seems.  I flirt with people all the time.  I dropped doing things with Alex, because he was just using me.  Riley was right about that guy at least.  I treat my family like crap.
I think I saw Gavin today.  I was on my way to grab a doughnut and a car passed.  I was in a good mood, and I was smiling at pretty much the entire world, and all the people in it, including those in the cars passing me.  I saw a guy in the driver's seat do a double take and stare at me for a good five seconds.  I could swear it was Gavin.  Curses.  He's a fucker.  Why can't I get him out of my head?
Or, for that matter, the guy in my honors class.  How can I be so fickle?  I'd like to forget about all guys.  Fat chance of that.  Maybe I'm just body-hungry.  That's my term for when I want the physical part of the relationship so much that it's all I think about.  But... that can't be it.  There are certain people I like but would never cross that line with, and it's not because they aren't hot.  Well, it's almost that, at any rate.  Still.  This is ridiculous.